MARRIAGE WITHOUT TEARS

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Marriage without tears [A short story sequel to ‘OUR LOVE TILL JANNAH’]

The union of convenience is that of understanding and tolerance while a marriage of inconvenience lacks the two aforementioned. There is no total compatibility in marriage, for a successful union, he is blind and she is deaf. Blind to her shortcomings but not without corrections. Deaf to hearsays, but not without confirming the truth, by and large it takes wisdom.

Marriage without tears is very possible so come with me let me share you stories of marriages without tears. Without tears here doesn’t mean a smooth marriage which of course does not exist, It simply means a problem/causal and solution/effect narration.

Story one [The Smarts]

Hassan Smart is raised by his mother. She is the kind of woman who knows where her husband is every night. A widow who chose to remain single after the demise of her husband, she had three children of which Hassan is the third and last. Her first child is a girl, followed by another girl and a boy who is Hassan. No matter how much she was advised to marry again, she always had this to say “what more do I want, I have a girl and two boys, tell me, is there another gender apart from this two?” This was always her reply so friends and family got tired of her and allowed her be.

Mama Smart protected her children like mother hen who is always watchful and mindful of the hawk. Her protection over them was overly to the extent that after her girls grew up and got married, she meddled in their affairs with their hubby. Hassan who was the only son was always referred to as a mummy’s boy by his friends. He never ate when his Momma is hungry, he sit when she asked her to sit and he does nothing without telling her. His life revolved around his mother and of course as expected when he got married, he had problems.

Sakeenah never knew she was marrying a Momma’s boy. Hassan is the cool type and his cool attitude was the point of contact. It endeared him to her and after a while of hum and haw, she accepted his proposal and they got married.

Their marital life is sweet except for the unexpected challenge. Sakeenah realized in no time what she was in for and that that was the beginning of their problems.

At evenings after work, Hassan always stopped by his mum’s place which was a stone throw to his and ate dinner. After he got home and his wife offers him dinner, ‘I’ve eaten at my mum’s was always his response. At first Sakeenah thought it would stop in no time but how wrong was she because it continued happening everyday.

Love they say is blind but marriage is surely an eye opener. Sakeenah took her predicament not with levity and several times she called him to order.

“Hassan this is not right and you know it.” Sakeenah would say.

“Come on stop being petty, eating at my mum’s place is what you call not right? Come off it please!” was Hassan’s reply.

“You see no big deal in eating at your mum’s place when you have a wife? Hassan this is not fair.”

“See what I got for you.” Hassan said trying to sweep the issue under the carpet. He walked towards his briefcase and brought out a pink shoe.

“See darling, isn’t it lovely.” Hassan said while putting the shoes on her feet. Sakeenah nodded her head in affirmation that the shoe is lovely and that was it.

He had succeeded in placating her and making her forget about the issue. That was Hassan, as his name implies, he is a good man but for this. People don’t know why he loves his mum so much to the extent of ditching his wife’s dinner for hers. A lot of advisers had advised Sakeenah to fight her mum in law tooth for nail for taking what is rightly hers. Her friends advised her to look beyond the food and reason with her head. They told her Hassan’s mum might be fetish. She might be using some charms to control her son because the matter seems out of ordinary but Sakeenah’s grandmother who raised her after the demise of her mum advised her otherwise.

“Sakeenah be patient, do not follow your friend’s advise. There’s no perfect marriage and this might be your own share of the imperfectness of marriage. Your husband is a good man, all you need do is pray and Allah will change your situation for the better.” Sakeenah grandmother would advise.

“Maami it seems you don’t understand, it’s not only about food. Hassan’s mother is his No 1 on his scale of preference. He ignores my feelings so long his mother is pleased. So many times my husband had told me he needed his mother’s advice or permission before taking any decision in our home, Maami can you beat that?” Sakeenah complaint with teary eyes.

“It is definitely odd but still you have to be patient and prayerful. Imbibe the three P’s of Patience Perseverence and prayers. Endurance is the key and I am sure your prayers shall be granted.” Her grandmother advised.

“Maami it’s not as easy as that, the other day he wanted to take I and the kids out, his mum called and told him he needed him to fix something in her house and that was it. Maami, what she needed wasn’t urgent, couldn’t he have told her he had an appointment and see her later? Maami I am getiing of the whole thing in fact I am tired.” She lamented again.

“Sakeenah my dear, complaining to me won’t solve anything. Take your matter to Allah in prayers and He will surely save you.” Mama advised again.

Trust mothers and grandmothers, instead of advising you to leave a marriage, they’ll rather tell you to pray, persevere and be patient. Until the matter seems irredeemable, that’s when a mother will advise a child to opt out of a marriage. Sakeenah yielded her grandma’s advice and prayed fervently to Allah to change her situation and one Saturday.……………….

Her mum in law came visiting and after Sakeenah honoured her with a sumptuous meal, they all relaxed watching the midday news when mum in laws phone rang. She picked and the phone was audible enough for Sakeenah to hear what the person from the other end was saying. It was Hassan’s immediate elder sister, she was crying on phone and telling her mother that she could not take it any longer.

“Calm down and tell me what the problem is.” Sakeenah’s mother in law replied her daughter who instead of answering continued sobbing.

“Azeezah stop crying please. Okay I am in Hassan’s house, I’ll tell him to come pick you here so that we can talk it over as a family.” Sakeenah’s mother in law told her daughter.

Immediately she dropped the call, she instructed Hassan to go pick his sister and he dashed out to do as instructed. After an hour, Hassan returned with his sister who hadn’t stopped crying. Mama placated her tirelessly and after a while she opened up.

She was having a problem with her husband and the bone of contention happens to be his mother. Whenever Azeezah had a misunderstanding with her husband, he packs his things to his mother’s where he spent days. He returns only when he feels so and that would be after series of pleading by his wife. This had been going on for a long time and Azeezah refused to inform her mum because she knows the kind of person she is. She would definitely bring the roof of her marriage down. She is a mother who doesn’t want any pains for her kids and she would do anything to protect them. After Azeezah finished narrating her predicament, her mum jumped up and flared up.

“What nonsense, what kind of a mother in law is that? What kind of a mother abhors his son for days after having a fight with his wife. He is not a man at all, he is still tied to his mother’s apron at this age and time. What nonsense! Please Azeezah take me to her place, let me teach her some lessons she’ll never forget in a jiffy.” Hassan’s mother said angrily but Hassan cautioned her.

“Mum please calm down, you have only listened to one side of the story. You have to hear her husband out before reacting.” Hassan advised.

“No way, I believe my daughter is saying nothing but the truth, how dare she cause my daughter pain and anguish.” Mama Smart retorted and Sakeenah who had been quiet all the while saw this as an opportunity to express her grievances to her mother in law.

“Mum please calm down. [Sakeenah cut in] I don’t really see the difference between a son who packs to his mother’s house after having a disagreement with his wife and the one who ditches his wife’s meal every evening for his mothers.” Sakeenah said rather calmly without aggression in her diction leaving both her husband and his mother in awe.

She spoke in parables but she has indeed passed a message, she left the leaving room after expressing her mind. Mother and son exchanged glances and mother returned calmly to where she was sitting before she got up angrily. Sakeenah’s message hit her to the bone marrow and she realized she had been a killer who wouldn’t tolerate the sight of a sword.

This was what Allah used as sabab to end Sakeenah’s nighmares. Her husband became what she wanted without shifting affection from his mum. There are numerous problems in marriage and how we tackle them makes our marriage with or without tears. Sometimes we don’t know we are hurting others until same is done to us. Marriage without tears entails majorly understanding, patience and tolerance. Tolerant of one another’s excesses and trying to give one another excuses upon excuses. Didn’t the prophet [pbuh] say we should give our brothers 70 excuses before faulting them? And isn’t marriage the greatest brotherhood?

Real love starts after marriage so they say, to love and to hate someone depends on attitude. A good person with a clean character is more likely to be loved while someone with deficient character is prone to despise. Goodness is reciprocal, if goodness is inhaled, goodness would be exhaled, its just as simple.

It takes someone with a heart of gold to inhale badness and exhale goodness. This is to say that when spouses are good to one another, then a marriage without tears can be achieved. Islam ties the hands of women with total obedience to their husband, jannah even lies at his feet, so with this a Muslim woman is according to the dictate of islam, an obedient wife except of course some exceptions among us. This is not to say that a man should misuse this opportunity and start lording over or maltreating his wife. May Allah grant us marriages without tears.

Story Two [The Adedires] WHO CAN LOVE ME LIKE MAHMUD [SEQUEL TO WHEN LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL]

{YOU MAY NEED TO READ ‘WHEN LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL’ TO GET THE GIST IN THIS STORY}

My name is Aneen, I am living with sickle cell anemia and this is my story.

After so many heartache and dashed hopes of getting a man who would love me despite my SS ailment, after so many hidden and open tears, pains upon pains, Allah finally answered my prayers and sent Mahmud my way.

I begged Allah for an Eid gift and exactly on the day of Eid-l-adha at eid prayer ground, I found Mahmud, my primary school darling. My mum called out Aneen Lawal at the eid ground and like a spark of lightening, the name went into his ears where he was standing with his family. He only knew one Aneen Lawal in his entire life and if anyone else bears that name, he hasn’t come across her.

His eyes trailed where he heard the name and he saw a lady ran towards the caller, he knew without being told that the lady must definitely be Aneen, the girl he had openly vowed to take care of. He left his family immediately and was running towards the lady when she entered a car and the car zoomed off. He didn’t stop despite seeing that he could not catch up with the car. He continued running and waving to the car to stop. He prayed silently for the driver to see him through the mirror and his prayer was indeed answered. The car stopped and he ran to catch up with it.

He was reunited with his old ‘sicky sicky’ friend and both were elated to see each other. From that moment, parting again would be a gamble and what I saw in Mahmud’s eyes was akin to plea. His eyes said it all and I couldn’t leave him either. I told my family to go and they left reluctantly.

I could recall vividly that Mahmud was the only classmate that showed me love and probably pure affection then but my little heart was too young to understand. Seeing this boy turned man again brought some sweet old memories and the happiness I felt was genuine.

I left my grandmother’s custody and relocated to be with my mother in Abuja. I parted with Mahmud and remembering him was just once in a blue moon whenever I recall my primary school experience but this was not so for Mahmud. He confessed to me that a day hardly passed by without his heart not reaching out to me. He told me he always had me in his prayers for Allah to give me a good health and make my ailment less complicated.

Twenty years after parting ways, our paths crossed again and that was when I knew he had been looking for me.

He took me home on Sallah day, introduced me to his family who were very warm and endearing. Something told me I wanted to be part of them and my instinct was indeed right.
Mahmud proposed marriage to me which of course met me by surprise because I never saw it coming, but he told me that he had promised himself that he would do exactly that the very day he found me.

“It’s been twenty years since we parted and I live each day telling myself I want no other but you.” Mahmud told me.

“What would you do with a Sickler like me? I may die anytime you know.”

“Shhhhhhh……please don’t say that, you don’t own your life. You’ll live long I believe and I assure you of an undying love.” Mahmud replied, boosting my confidence and giving me hope that life can be sweet with a loved one.

We talked at length that day and the comfort I felt around him sparked my desire to spend the rest of my life with him. Here is someone who loved and accepted me despite my ailment. I have never had the cause to talk marriage with any man, they always flee knowing the kind of ailment I have without looking back. Like a plague, they avoided me and I tried to be strong but I was human after all.

This would be the second time a man is proposing marriage to me, the first could not compromise his family to be with a sickler like me so he dumped me too. Abdullah’s exit in my life made me realize something, it is important to pray for a man who would love me, but more important to pray for one who would not only love me but whose family would accept me as well.

I started doing exactly this and it seemed my mum’s words came to pass, I found a man who had been looking for me, to love, to hold, to cherish, to protect and to care for me. He actually told me that I am one of the reasons he studied Medicine and Surgery! How sweet!!. Mahmud not only loved me passionately, his family also accepted me like a daughter and sincerely too.

Mahmud became the very eyes I see with, the very heart I breathed with and my life support system. He loved me more than I ever loved myself and sometimes I found his overly concern annoying. Mahmud calls me more than 20 times in a day, he always wanted to know if I had eaten, what I ate, if I wasn’t alone and what I was doing at a particular point in time.

We lived at in the vacant flat at his father’s compound and this was a decision by the whole family. We couldn’t leave alone because of my ailment hence this decision. Whenever Mahmud was not home and I wasn’t at work, he always ensured I was with his family. Like I said he was overly protective of me and sometimes I find this annoying. I wasn’t a baby to be monitored and neither was I blind to be followed about but my husband chose to do this everyday and everytime. One day he tripped and fell while trying to get me something and his mother said jokingly.
“May you not die over Aneen’s matter o………” And everyone laughed.

That is my Mahmud, I don’t know what good I have done to be deserving of this love but I am surely grateful to Allah. Sometimes he forget he hadn’t eating while going about my troubles. I conceived our first child and pregnancy made me see the other side of life, it got worse with my ailment but I was able to pull through with Mahmud by my side. He became me exactly, like a body, when a limb experienced pains, the whole body is affected with sleeplessness and fever. He became Aneen because I don’t know how best to describe his love and affection. With Mahmud, the world goes round. I could count on him like the figures and lean on him like a piilar. Labour wasn’t that stressful as Sickle Cell complications is like a twin of labour. I gave birth to a baby boy and my husband’s joy was immeasurable.

I never felt the stress of a new mother because Mahmud was always there. He picks the baby at night while I sleep, he does the washing and the cooking and his family was of great help too. If I say Mahmud is great, his family are awesome and I keep asking if this is a fairy tale.

After our son, we had two other sons and with my ailment I wasn’t really coping with raising kids so I was advised to stop. My life is important. What more do I want, I have a marvelous husband, my backbone, a solid rock behind me and the shoulder who solidly erect my neck. My mother says to him severally, ‘Mahmud can I ever stop praying for you? And I ask myself severally ‘Who can love me like Mahmud? Oh Allah, grant this man a long life with good health, a life free of tribulations and sorrows. Do not let a pin scratch his body talk more of an injury Aamin. My marriage with Mahmud is without tears, if there’s a pain in the marriage, that would be me because my Eid gift is impeccable.

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This piece of writing is dedicated to my two lovely friends, Sister Rafiat Qazeem who recently celebrated her 13th wedding anniversary and Sister Maryam Muhammed Lawal who celebrated her fourth. May Allah uphold your homes and make you and your spouses companion till jannah.

In between I am really grateful for the calls and messages while away on this platform. I appreciate everyone that called and sent in messages. May Allah not leave you to yourselves even for a blink of an eye. Hmmmm life happens but Alhamdullah, people of Alhamdulillah will always be thankful.

I thought I have lost my writing passion with recent events but Alhamdullah I’ve got my grooves back. I received a call that my mum is sick and with my shaky hand my phone fell inside a drum of water. I wasn’t composed and I couldn’t even think straight not to talk of typing a story. I had the option of typing with my laptop but my head was blank. I was sad and my writing mojo instantly disappeared.

It’s over a month now since mum’s sickness and my hubby hadn’t been home, it’s a distance relationship because of work and guess what? He returned yesterday and something changed. I realized I didn’t lose my passion for writing, I only needed a shoulder to lean on. Praise be to Allah Azzawajjal who said he created marriage for a man and woman to find tranquility in one another. By Allah a woman is not whole without her husband and a woman in a distance relationship will know the worth of a husband better. I felt an indiscribable joy with his return yesterday and my sadness vanished. I woke up this morning with passion to write again and series of inspirations started flying through my head. Alhamdullah Robbil’Aalamin.

I need your prayers for my mum, I want a quick and miraculous recovery for her please do this for me Jazakumllah khairan Keziran.

Anticipate a new story in shaa Allah. B.B.C is what I call it BEAUTY BRAIN AND CHARACTER. I still have unreplied messages, I will reply in shaa Allah when I get a new phone. Twice I logged onto facebook with my sister’s phone and I saw your best wishes both on my timeline and inbox, I really do appreciate.

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28 Comments

  1. May Almighty Allah grant her quick recovery.In fact we were really worried about you. Olorun ko ni fi mama da yin laamu.

  2. May Allah grant your mum shifa and may her sickness be a khafara for her. May Allah ease your affairs and bless and upload your home too.Ameen

  3. May Allah grant her good health to continue eating @ ease 4rm d fruit of her labour In Sha Allahu & increase d love btw u & hubby more & more.

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