I invited a husband snatcher into my home
My house is just five houses away from Deola’s house. Whenever I passed in front of her house, she wears a very big smile and greeted me with a wave of the hand. Sometimes she walks up to me and collect whatever I’m carrying. But I’ll refuse and appreciate her kind gestures. And other times, she would insist on helping me which I wouldn’t be able to turn down. On two occasions I allowed her but I didn’t allow her into the house. I collected the stuffs from her at the gate and thanked her heartily.
I don’t know anything about her other than her being the daughter of a grinder. Her mother has a grinding machine in front of the house she lived and most of the times Deola’s always outside probably awaiting customers.
All I perceived of her is goodness. A polite and respectful girl plus she’s beautiful and always cheerful. She wears hijab with socks and more reason I’m always cool with her. I love religiously inclined people. I can’t get to my house without passing in front of hers so I see her often and she’s always wearing a big smile to greet me with a wave of the hand. Sometimes even if I didn’t see her she’ll shout ‘Umm Asalam Alaykum warahmotullah wabarakatuh’ With a smile as always.
One day I passed in front of her house as usual and upon sighting me, she quickly got up and walked towards me. I paused to receive her, she said her greetings politely as usual. Her eyes were pregnant with words but she was obviously shy so I told her to relax and tell me what’s on her mind. She smiled again and thanked me for my understanding. She told me she’d completed high school since two years back and had been awaiting admission but jamb has not been friendly with her. She informed me she’d registered for another jamb and needs a favour from me. She was reluctant to continue at this point and I told her not to worry, if the favour is within my ability I’ll surely do it.
From my little interaction with her, I got to know she needed my assistance for jamb tutoring. She needed me to assist her with jamb past questions which I happily agreed to after informing my husband. And I told her to be coming around five times a week between 12:00pm and 2:00pm. She was okay with the time and a deal was striked.
I opened the door of my home to her and she comes around as agreed. During the course of my relationship with her, I found out she’s an introvert. A very inquisitive person who ask weird questions. She wanted to know everything about me. I found out that her hayya (bashfulness) is nothing to write home about. She wanted to enter every room in my house. A lot of times, she proposed helping me with chores which I turned down. I told her bluntly to mind what she’s in the house for.
Sometimes I couldn’t turn down her help, for example, I often served her meals and she would after eating, take the dish to the kitchen and wash together with every dirty plates she found in the kitchen. She sweeps my living room and proposed to do same to my bedroom but I declined. I know she wanted to know how my bedroom looks like because her bashfulness is zero.
I had tutored her for over a month before she finally met my husband whom she wouldn’t stop disturbing me about. She wanted to know why we ain’t together but I would ignore her questions.
The day she met my husband, she displayed a high level of unbashful behavior. She greeted him like she’d known him before and cracked some unwarranted jokes. She requested for her own share of what he brought and I told her to be patient and allow him unpack first.
For the period my husband was home I guarded him jealousy knowing the kind of uncouth girl deola is. Something tells me she’s innocent but just badly exposed hence her display of immorality. But I guarded my husband all the same. She bombarded me with questions about him and told me how lucky I am to have a ‘perfectly gentle man’ Her mouth runs like tap and she achieved a little while with me. You can’t chase two birds with one stone. Her life is full of frivolities. Always talking about the latest film and the latest fashion trend. I nearly blamed myself for allowing her into my house. But I thought I could change her free lifestyle just like a little sister. Her orientation was really poor, a case of using hijab without knowledge. I tried my best to talk to her but it seems we have a long path to thread. I always ignored her frivolities and scolded her to mind her studies.
My husband left and I continued tutoring Deola with the consolation that her exam is just some weeks away. When she’s done I’ll close my door back at her. I hate uncultured behavior.
Few days before her exam, my hubby was home, there’s a conference he needed to attend back home and he was spending some days. It was few days before I’ll finally dismiss Deola so I let down my guard.
During this period, hubby had a day off from the conference and that day, Deola came for lesson as usual. I didn’t mention that there’re two apartments in my house. The first is where we live while the second is where my hubby receives visitors and in that apartment also is a library where he studies and work. The first apartment is where I tutor Deola so whenever hubby is home and Deola is around, he maintained the second apartment. That day he was in his library working, there’s just a door adjoining both apartments to each other. He called me on phone to get something for him in the neighborhood so I excused myself from Deola and went off.
When I got back, I didn’t enter through the first apartment but the second. And I was at the door about to enter the second apartment when I started hearing Deola’s voice coming from my husband’s library. What the hell is she doing inthere, I thought and paused. I went behind the house to peep through the window. I saw my husband sitting and working on his computer and Deola was standing in front of him. I heard her say the following words to my husband
“Please sir, I am a good girl and I promise to make a good wife. Please marry me, I love you from the first day I set my eyes on you.”
What!!!! My body was on fire and more so when my husband didn’t reply her but was just laughing. I ran into the house and barged into the library.
“How dare you! Are you mad or something?” I shouted while she shivers. My husband continued laughing and I thought to ‘le eleyoro lo, kin to fabo fun adiye.
I turned to Deola and spoke angrily again.
“Get out of my house before I beat you blue black. And don’t ever come back you shameless little girl!” I shouted and she ran out like a thief. I turned to my husband.
“So what’s funny? A little shameless girl is wooing you and you’re sitting down laughing like someone who won a jackpot.” I said angrily while giving him a scornful look.
“Calm down woman! We have different ways of reacting to shock. This is mine. I am shocked, I am amused. What just happened is beyond my comprehension. I laughed because it’s funny. This is what you get when you invite anybody into your home. Please spare me! I want to go to the bank.” He said, picked up his car keys and exited the house.
That moment shaytan whispered something into my heart. “follow him, he’s not going to the bank but going to meet her’
I ran out like a lunatic. He was reversing the car by the time I got out. I tapped the window and he opened.
“I suddenly remembered I have something to do in the bank as well.” I lied.
He smiled and shook his head before replying.
“Okay come in.”
I entered and we drove silently to the bank. I was furious he didn’t raise the issue. I stared at him intermittently and our gaze locked few times. He smiled and shook his head and I was angrier. When we got to the bank, he proceeded to his mission but I had nothing to do. I had to go take a teller and started filling rubbish so that he won’t be suspicious of me. I think he was suspicious anyways the way he was smiling. It appeared I was only fooling myself.
When we got home, I raised the issue again and registered my displeasure at him for laughing when he’s supposed to send her out. He said the same thing he said earlier, he was shocked and amused hence his laughter. I was not convinced. I was mad at him for days and I thought to share my experience with someone to lighten my chest.
I called my sister who told me my husband has no fault. She told me never to open my door to Deola again but I shouldn’t throw her away completely. My sister told me that for a girl of Deola’s age to behave that way, it only shows she’s badly influenced and not guided that I should help her.
I thought about what my sister said and after a lot of ruminations, I decided to help Deola. I went to her house one evening and sought her attention. She was cold but I ignored. Her exam had passed by at this time and I asked about it. She was cold again but I waved it off. I told her I have some books I want her to read and I’ll explain anything that’s not clear to her. (The books are islamic books that can help mould one’s lifestyle) She snapped at me, she told me to hold my books that she doesn’t need them. She was so rude and on the verge of creating a scene when I quickly left.
After what happened that day, I gave up on her but she intended to humiliate me. Whenever I passed in front of her house after the incidence, her song always trailed me as thus: ‘Iyawo alarede re o. Iyawo alarede re o. A n b’oko yin soro, en moju siwa, a n b’oko yin soro, e n moju siwa, iyawo alarede re o.
She did the first, second, and third time and when I couldn’t bear the nonsense anymore, I decided to inform her mother about it. I told her mother and guessed what she said? She gave me a shocker.
She said to me: “Did my daughter sleep with your husband? She only asked you to shift and if you refuse to shift, she’ll snatch the seat from you completely.” She said and hissed.
I was dazed, my feet was heavy on the floor. I was emotionally wounded. My pride as a woman was trampled upon. I practically dragged my feet home. What happened was beyond me.
I got home and transferred my aggression on my husband forgetting he didn’t caused my pain, I was innocently the architect of my misfortune. However, because I know human being are capable of evil, I took the battle to Allah in prayers. Deola and her mother would not defeat me because I have Allah. I’m not against my husband marrying another wife but definitely not a prostitute who apparently inherited prostitution from her mother. I don’t want my husband to be snatched. I want to share, I don’t want a complete lost.
This is a product of my imagination. It didn’t happen to me but I have heard sisters shared how the sisters they invited into their home wooed their hubby, either verbally or codedly.
Please be careful of who you invite into your house. Let’s protect our husbands. Men are weak, Wallahi they are. That’s why they have us as helpmates to guide and protect them. We have to both make it to Jannah unscathed.
I am not saying you should close your doors to single sisters, no, not everyone of them have cruel intentions, but please be wise.
Build a wall of secret around your marriage. Even to your married friends, don’t talk about your husband. Lest comparism sets in.
Let’s be guided. Our love must be till Jannah biithnillah.
LATEEFAH ADEWUNMI JUMAH (Laj fingers)